


the umbilicus

by rishutt



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, Gen, the exarch isnt actually there hes just talked about a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 14:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19747708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rishutt/pseuds/rishutt
Summary: **SHADOWBRINGERS SPOILERS**Toku finds something and talks about the past





	the umbilicus

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is the first fic about my au ra xaela wol toku mierqid that ive managed to finish. “finish” being that i think its finally coherent enough to share. i am not good at writing at all but god i love ffxiv and my wol so i cant resist!
> 
> anyway, this has shb spoilers so tread lightly. takes place after the second trial, one of the 79 msquests i forgot the name of.

After the vision of the echo pasts, tears well in Toku’s eyes, sorrow and something not quite unlike anger wracks her emotions. The whole time, _the whole time_ he meant to sacrifice himself for her, and make it seem a deception, a trick he played on her. And Urianger _knew_.

Toku knows, ultimately, that it was the right call, she would have stopped him had she known before. She understands their decision, _G’raha’s_ decision. But a part of her wishes he, and even Urianger, had confided in her. The smallest part of her heart screams _maybe there’s another way, another way to dispel the Light, her Light. There has to be, there has to be, there has to be!_

And an even smaller part is _glad_ he failed, is _glad_ Emet-Selch showed up when he did.

At this, Toku is immediately ashamed, and bolts upright. There is time for this later. She _will_ find Emet-Selch, and she _will_ save G’raha Tia.

As she wipes her eyes, she takes another sweep of the Umbilicus, when something in between the books scattered on one of the many small tables catches her attention. Worn, old paper, long-turned yellow, suffering from crumples that have been gently smoothed out. The lines are a bit smudged, but not so much that the depiction is unrecognizable.

It’s a _portrait_ , of her, sketched at some point during her time with the Doma and Ala Mhigan rebellions, easy for Toku to tell, wearing the red togi Tataru crafted for her that she favored so much. Her ryunohige, the spear gifted to her from Estinien, is held at her side, her freed hair lightly windblown as she seems to gaze at whatever land she had been in at the time.

It is unmistakably Alphinaud’s style, something he must’ve scratched before the prisoner exchange of Doma, one he must have never gotten to show her before things began to go awry. G’raha must have found it on one of his surveys to pinpoint the right time to call her.

As the au ra gently lifts the portrait for a closer look, she notices another smaller note beneath it, handwriting vaguely familiar to her.

_‘I cannot forget her face.’_

Her fingers clench, crinkling the paper, as sorrow and regret and _longing_ begins sweep over her once more.

“Careful, now. If you lose control again, the Light could claim you for good.”

She jumps at the voice, startled by the sudden presence, and Toku feels a fool for not noticing him return to her sooner. “A- Ardbert,” she quickly rubs her face free of welling tears before she turns to face her companion, “Gods, you scared me. How long have you been here?”

“Not long.” The warrior before her quirks his brow and she knows what he is thinking, _she’s never_ not _noticed his spirit near her since that day in the inn_ , but Toku ignores it, and Ardbert lets it slide, for the moment. “You knew him?”

“What- I...” She stutters, not expecting the question. “...Yes, I knew- _know_ him. He’s my friend. We were...” Toku raises her portrait up to study the scrawled note once more. “We were close, G’raha and I.”

Ardbert grunts in acknowledgment, an invitation to continue or end it at that if she chose.

“We were a part of a team together- back on the Source. About four or so summers ago for me, we started an expedition of this very tower. This spire is the reason we met.” Her hands smooth out the portrait slightly as places it back upon the table, sighing wistfully through her nose. “He made off with some aether sand we needed to access the tower, to test my abilities, or something of the sort.

“He was very eccentric, in a charming way, like you’d expect from a bard. And quite the historian, especially being burdened with lost knowledge of the Allagans through his eye, and later his eyes. G’raha was fascinated by tales of heroes... We grew quite close in the months of surveying the Crystal Tower. We exchanged stories, we discussed findings.. although I wasn’t all that adept with the Tower research outside of clearing out hostiles and obstacles, so he did most of the talking with that. Sometimes...sometimes he’d even sing for me.”

She recalls her and G’raha lounging late at night in one of the hidden outlooks of the tower, falling asleep with her head on her backpack as he sang to her, and the au ra almost slips into the memory longer until she catches the knowing glint in Ardberts eyes, and she tries to ignore the low burning of her face before she continues.

“Long story short, he made the decision to stay in the tower, alone, in the hopes that his ancestors tower wouldn’t be used for anything but a beacon of hope in the future. I... he made the decision so suddenly, we didn’t really get a proper goodbye. But I think he did it so it would hurt less. As seems to be his wont. The last time I saw him was when the gates of the tower shut tight behind him. Until... well, you know the rest.”

Ardbert is silent for a moment, processing and gathering as Toku wipes her hand over her face. “Toku,” at the rare sound of her name on his lips, the au ra immediately looks up at him, “we _will_ save him. We will save him, and we will save you. There will be no sacrifice.”

The dragoon stares at the warrior in awe, taking in the clear, serious resolve plain on his face. And then he gives a determined smile, which is returned in full as Toku nods in agreement.

And then his face bares a smug look and she knows whatever he’ll say next will embarrass her to her core.

“Anyway, it’s rather... _something_ to keep pictures of your _inspiration_ locked away in a private room. _Romantic_ , perhaps is the word? I’d say it’s rather criminal to keep you two away from each other much longer.”

“ _Ardbert!_ ”

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading!! if u enjoyed, im writing more ffxiv fics focused on my wol ofc, and more wol/exarch fics will be on the way with her.
> 
> u can find me on twitter @lesbianyshtola !


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